Deep thoughts...

... in philosophical repartee with Ell, commenting about myself being cynically-inclined but generally practical:

"Being practical does not mean that I am a doomsayer. I am a cynic by the most general of measures since the world preaches all about being happy and about a brighter side of life. I won't say I disagree with looking on brighter side of life... it's just that for someone to say "look on the bright side" means there was a side that was not so bright to begin with. I strive not to forget that not-so-bright side and (hopefully) learn from it."

Another point:

"At 38, I look back to when I was 28 and how I saw life differently then. At 38, I've become more stable, more confident and, for want of a better term, wiser than I was at 28. But then, at 28, I looked back at 18 and thought exactly the same thing!"

And yet we grow. I wonder what my perspective will be at 48...

Sounding Board...

... or a convenient ragdoll for to be used and abused?

When W calls (which is not very often) and she starts off with "Busy?" (which is even rarer), I know that she is at wits' end. It is FREQUENTLY about her venting her frustration because of others being unreasonable but it is ALWAYS about the girls and the games that they play (literally and metaphorically).

On the one hand, I guess I could see it as a vote of confidence that she would think that I am able to help reason things out with or for her. And she will only call me when it is about things "of a larger magnitude" as opposed to frivolous gossip and whatever games she might be playing, metaphorically. So I do suppose that it does put me in a place where I don't mind being perceived as a stable voice of reason, even if by proxy. Head talking.

However. There is always a trace of resentment in me when this happens because I know that at all other times, I wouldn't really matter much to the scheme of things anyway. She will still continue to do what it is she does and without so much as a sniff at what other think or have to say. All she wants is for someone to nod a head in agreement. And it irks me that she takes it all for granted. Heart talking.

Just one of those things that I learn to balance everyday. I have always chanted the mantra, when the head and heart collide, let the heart have a say but ALWAYS let the head prevail.

Jungle irony...

"... is there any justification in cutting down indigenous forests so that we can transplant non-indigenous flowering plants to create a botanic garden? is there any logic in substituting a NATURAL forest environment with an artificially created garden?

if an empty unused degraded piece of land were to be used to create this garden, then yes! there would be good justification in rehabilitating such land to create gardens for the benefit of the public..."

The land in question is currently not being used per se. And if degraded means undeveloped, then I guess that would also make it the case. But it's jungle. Primary or secondary is totally immaterial. And the debate is on Bukit Cahaya in Shah Alam and how there are plans underway to make what little bit of forest there is into a botanic garden.

The quote by the MNS member sums it up. How ironic is it to propose cutting down wild trees so that we can plant new ones in neater order? It perplexes me as to how such logic even comes about? My crass and under-educated guess: politics which beget power which, in turn, begets money.

Let's say that I'm a master guesser. Would it then be unfair to equate this botanic garden idea to money? The powers that be and the politicians in between the equation would likely dissuade me from that notion, I'm sure. But they don’t reveal why I should be swayed otherwise.

Does anyone in government think that we, the Rakyat, are as ignorant as our Neolithic ancestors? You can't throw some half-baked idea like that at the people and expect them to lap it all up. And while people who run our country seem to think of us as daft, let's not assume the same of them. If there is a justifiable reason to make this harebrained idea a truly marvelous one, why will they not share their knowledgeable insights with the very same people they're trying to con-vince? If they see something in it, why not sell the idea to us?

Agriculture and Agro-based Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said he had asked a consultant to submit a new plan to convert a bigger area of the park into a botanical garden by the end of the year to enable work on the first phase to begin next year. Quoted from Bernama, 19th August 2006.

The first plan by the consultant was for a forest conservation project. It got rejected. The good Minister then said he sent the proposal back to the un-named consultant (who, I'm guessing again, has expertise and interest in the field of forest conservation as opposed to, say, horticulture) for new plans of a botanical garden? What the fish is he thinking?!

"If possible, we want to turn the entire area into a botanical garden, not for forest conservation. Who wants to trek into the jungle?" he told reporters after launching his ministry's family day at the agriculture park on Saturday.

Ladies and gents, these are people we elected into government... It would thus be us that I should blame for such ridiculous incidences. And by the way, did he just think up the plan while he was touring the park, hence explaining the lack of any intelligible logic in the scheme?

He said the first phase of the project, which entailed upgrading and enhancement of the park, would be awarded to contractors through open tenders.

And my guess is that is their motivation.

My Biological Clock at 38 O'Clock...

... still continues to tick, I'm sure. But is it for to have kids? I don't think so.

Conversation started with Ming announcing her pregnancy. Happy as I was for her, the ensuing conversation inadvertently led to whether I had ever thought of having kids. My reply:

• I have no maternal instincts whatsoever to begin with, so the clock can persistently tick all it wants, it doesn't make me feel any different
• PLUS I have no affinity towards children in general; I can be asked to babysit or be a godparent but as long as kids go home with other people to where they rightly belong at the end of the day, I am truly fine with that kind of arrangement
  
• PLUS I like my life the way it is; selfish as it is, living it on my own terms and filling it with the things that make me pleased and with doing things that only I want... and I don't particularly want it to change in any way
  
• PLUS I now have a dog, although in shared custody... that IS like having a kid!

Ming and I are both monkeys of the same age. She too never thought of having kids. In fact, I always thought that she would remain serenely and confidently unmarried like some of us. Until she decided to bite the bullet earlier in the year. And although I would consider myself anything but old at 38, at the same time, I couldn't imagine myself getting pregnant at this age! Not that I have any means of getting pregnant without going to the bank!

Learning The Ways of the Jungle...

... In my attempt to start AND MAINTAIN a blog, I have promised myself that I would endeavour to learn something new everyday. And I will write on it. Noble? I hope so, and we shall see. But for now, let me find my way out of this bramble maze...